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People who are lucky enough to actually own Apple stock may have paid attention to the fact that Apple released their Second Quarter Results today. In fact, even those not directly benefiting may have gotten word that they now effectively own the US Federal Reserve. You see, the US government no longer had enough currency to print the giant piles of cash-on-hand Apple has at their disposal. So, Apple simply called in their chips and, starting today, will be printing their own. Thus replacing the faces and common names we formerly called our currency.

In order to help with this transition, I have created this handy guide. Please feel free to share this. You may also copy and paste it into the iPhone Notes.app but, if you do, please use something other than Marker Felt. Here we go:

• $100 bill – Is now to be commonly referred to as a Steve

• $50 bill – To be commonly referred to as a Cook

• $20 bill – To be commonly referred to as a Schiller

• $3 coin – To be commonly referred to as a Woz

• $1 bill – Now cancelled due to lack of usage and replaced by…

• $.99 – To be commonly referred to as a Sucker and used only at the end of the round numbers above to drive purchasing. Don’t expect change.

(Note to our international readers, none of this is really true. The post is done in humor though, if you read the results, not far from the truth.)

Bullet Point — The Brooks Review:

Battery life is the new benchmark — it’s the first thing that I look at on any new piece of hardware. We can now, finally, make the reasonable assumption that both the hardware and software is fast enough on most devices — so now what matters is portability — with battery life being the bullet point at the top of the list, set in bold.

Ben makes a strong argument for a new standard by which to measure computers. It’s funny, before even reading this today I was thinking to myself what a leap forward it is not to have to think much about battery life anymore. My Macbook Air, iPad, and iPhone are never really away from homebase for long enough anymore that I have to.

Today’s Ad-Hoc Podcasting Setup

Enough Episode 26 — My Domains Are Sinking!:

The latest episode of Enough – The Minimal Mac Podcast is another “rambling” episode where we record the chatter between shows and see what happens. This time, we talk a lot about my very un-minimal domain name addiction, how various “vanity” domains are being affected by world crisis, a recent post about a reporter who uses an iPhone 4 for his work, and how the evolution of a thing has a value that is often never considered.

I love these so much.

Time away from email » Blog » Elliot Jay Stocks:

So, as a little test, and because I really need some proper downtime, I’m going to disable Mail on my iPhone on Thursday night and not switch it on again until I’m back on Tuesday morning. Who’s with me?

Those who have emailed me may know that I also only check and respond to emails at specific times. During the weekdays, that is often late in the evening (9PM or so). On weekends, I have been known to take digital semi-sabaticals starting on Friday afternoon and continuing until Sunday night. Therefore, such a challenge is not new to me. That said, I urge you all to read this and perhaps consider setting up some similar schedule for yourself. Be pavlov, not the dog.

“You never fail until you stop trying.”

- Albert Einstein

Experience the human flight. Speechless.